Procrastination Day

It’s Tuesday, but that could also be known as Procrastination Day.  I’m on vacation, so I’m not under great time pressure, but I have tasks that I need to address this week.  Today is overcast and drizzly.  It’s the perfect day to get things done.  I need to write a letter to my class.  It’s a school tradition that the fifth grade teachers write a letter to their class and read it at the Moving Up Ceremony at the end of the year.  (Note:  I believe I am the #%#$@-hole who started this tradition about 15 years ago).  We have to write the letter in April, because the parents like to put the letter in the fifth grade yearbook, and that goes to press…soon.  My deadline is April 17.  I know, after a month of writing a daily slice, it shouldn’t be  hard to write a letter.  Still, there are so many ways to avoid the task.

Just this morning I have found almost twenty ways to leave my letter:

Just go to the bank, Hank,  run a trivial errand, Darren

Make a to-do, Hugh; it’s important to you.

Send an email, Dale, format some pix, Trix

Just take out McGee, Lee, and keep your keys free.

Sadly, I just spent an inordinate amount of time wondering why nothing that I did today rhymed with any known names in the western world.  Nothing rhymes with adding 100 songs to a Spotify playlist.  Nothing rhymes with hanging a family portrait that’s been sitting around for months (oh wait, “hang a picture on the wall, Paul!), or sending excessively long texts about poems discussed over the weekend, or a reminder to Sarah about  meeting with one of my former students who’s touring her college (“Don’t call ‘er, just text ‘er, Dexter,” was the best I could come up with.  Seriously, I spent time thinking about that!).

So, since I’m even having trouble writing about the ways that I’m not writing, I think I’ll just publish this post and force myself to get to it.

Just sit and compose, Rose; write a rough draft, Shaft. 

No need to delay, Jay, just listen to me.

Just tap on the keys, Louise, no need to fret, Chet

Just get it on the page, Gage, and set yourself free.

Final note:  Just for the record, Paul Simon only came up with five ways in his song, not fifty.  I counted.

15 thoughts on “Procrastination Day

  1. This is funny, Honey;
    You sure know how to write, Dwight;
    Think you can do this again, Ren?
    This really isn’t easy…Peasy? (Okay, I totally cheated on that one)

    I love this! For a procrastination post, you really did have to think hard about what you were writing! I’d say I’d like to use this for a future post of my own, but I’m not sure I could! It really was difficult. How creative you are! And good luck getting your letter finished! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You made me laugh. Isn’t it funny (both the haha and the strange) that How much can be written about procrastination or not writing. I enjoy reading them. I’d rather not have to write one. Good luck with that letter. MAyve you saved the ones from previous years and you can copy & paste.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hilarious! I love this! By the time I got to this line — “Sadly, I just spent an inordinate amount of time wondering why nothing that I did today rhymed with any known names in the western world.” — I was laughing out loud. 🙂 Good luck writing your letter! ~JudyK

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  4. Vacation days make it so hard for me to buckle down to do anything. It’s hard for me to be stern with my students for procrastinating when I know I’m the (physically) biggest procrastinator in the room. Good luck with that letter!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Do you have copies of all of the old letters? That must be a fun way to walk down memory lane. Do you try to make them all completely unique? I think it’s a lovely tradition. Maybe some of these procrastination bits will find their way in…

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    1. Well, the letters are all in the yearbooks, so, yes, I have them…and I think I did one on procrastination one year. I always feel like they have to be different since there are families in the audience, and I never want them to be saying, “Oh, that’s what he said for Jack’s class, too.”

      Like

  6. Hahaha – this made me laugh – especially because I procrastinated today & was not nearly as funny about it. Spotify, Sy? Also – I love the idea of that letter, but I bet that it’s a lot less fun as a tradition with a deadline as it was when it was a little more fluid. Still, looking back over the years is probably awesome. Good luck with it.

    Liked by 1 person

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