“Hello. My name is Peter, and I’m an introvert.”
This is how the meeting started. We were all sitting in a circle.
Naturally, we were all facing out of the circle, not toward each other. Our leader started the session by passing around a note. Each person read it and then passed it along to the next person. The note said that if we had the energy to interact, it would be good if we turned slightly toward one of our neighbors and acknowledged their existence.
Some of us turned to people near us and muttered a greeting.
Would anyone like to share something today?
Silence.
“Good,” said the leader. “That’s progress. Nobody groaned or wretched today.”
More silence.
“Peter, you’re the newest person here. Would you like to tell us about your day?”
“Okay.”
“Whenever you’re ready. Maybe tell us what brought you here.”
“Okay.”
“Are you painfully shy? Socially anxious? Anti-social?”
“No, not really.”
“Could you elaborate?”
“I am a teacher.” [Loud gasps from the others. Some moans]
“Tell us more.”
“I’m a teacher. I like people. I like talking to people.”
[More gasps and expressions of horror]
“This is unusual for this group. Tell us more.”
“It’s just that… people are exhausting. Sometimes it just feels like they’re everywhere, and all they want to do is…communicate.”
[Rumbles of agreement]
“Yes, many other humans are very interested in socializing and exchanging ideas. Can you tell us about your day?”
“I woke up early. No one else was up except the dog. I had a great hour of breakfast, coffee, reading stories online and typing comments to people who couldn’t talk back.”
[Sighs of pleasure]
“I walked the dog, took a shower, and got dressed, but when I came downstairs, my wife and daughter were having a disagreement. They were communicating…a lot. Expressing their emotions. It was overwhelming. I had to leave.”
“Okay, so it was a challenging start to the day. Say more.”
“Yes. I was already a bit tired. Then, after a very pleasant drive to work with my audio book, I entered the building. It seemed like everywhere I turned there were people who wanted to talk. I finally made it into my room, but by then I only had 15 minutes before students arrived. I like to have at least 30.”
[Ugh]
“I greeted the kids as they entered. They all wanted to talk. They asked so many questions. I kept gesturing to the message I’d written on the board, but they still wanted to talk. We talked while they arrived and settled in. They talked while they added their names to the mood meter. They asked me questions about the word I had posted on the mood meter (anxious). Then we talked while they had their morning meeting. We talked about the book I read out loud. We talked about the debatable topics they were researching. We talked about the math problems they were solving. So much talking. So much exchanging of ideas.
Finally, they had Spanish, and I was going to get a break. I was going to read emails and get ready for conferences, but the Assistant Principal came in and wanted to talk about a student who was having a very hard day. I wanted to say, “I am having a very hard day,” but instead, we went to his office and talked…for my whole prep period. I came back to the room and talked with the students about their afternoon work at home. I assured them that I would be working, too, since I had conferences. Then, after they left, I had a conference, and another conference. We talked so much that each conference ran over by at least ten minutes. Then I had another and another and another and another. Each one a little longer than it was supposed to be, and the last one twenty-five minutes longer because they knew that they were the last conference, and then it was four o’clock. I clicked “Leave Meeting” and “End Meeting,” and my head dropped to my desk and I was SO tired. So tired of talking and interacting and watching reactions and listening to thoughts and responding to questions. At 5:00 I headed home and had a quiet ride, listening to my book.”
“Well, that was certainly a challenging day for you. What are you going to do tomorrow to take care of yourself?”
“I have nine conferences.”
Ugh. 9 conferences. It’s not that I don’t like talking to parents, but – oh! – the energy. And online is so much more tiring. I mean, honestly, I’m surprised you made it to the IA meeting at all. 😉
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Now I feel guilty for stopping you to chat… but I totally hear you. I came home and my kids wanted to chat, and cry, and demand things. It was enough to throw me over the edge. Wednesday definitely felt like Friday. Hopefully today’s 9 conferences are less chatty…
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I was worried that that could be taken wrong. I like the hallway chats. They don’t drain the eneergy.
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I know! But I can totally relate- time goes so fast. Always happy to chat with you!
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I don’t know what it is about talking online that makes me so tired, but it does. Clever start.
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Online conversations take so much more energy than in person. I had a meeting on a child’s testing that seemed to never end. I’m glad he’s getting what he needs for services, but all the tech glitches of freezing video made it even longer. I hope your conferences go well.
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Another great slice that gets to the heart of being a teacher this year. Well….maybe any year.
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This slice takes me back 20 years when Myers Briggs talk was everywhere. I learned so much about people during those years. As an extrovert, I gained a lot of perspective for those that I learned were more introverted. Even at home, (I’m married to an I and I’m pretty sure my oldest fits into the I category), I have to remind myself that sometimes, they need the quiet. This is a cool slice, the conversation and the description of your day. Here’s to a day that gives you space and quiet in spurts so those conferences aren’t quite as draining!
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I loved the image of the circle with everyone facing outward. People can be exhausting; communicating can be exhausting; conferences are truly exhausting. And online communication makes me tired just thinking about it. You capture that all in your slice today.
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I get exhausted just watching you guys this week. I hope today goes smoothly and hopefully 9 today means an easier day tomorrow!
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Thanks. It does. Five down. Four to go!
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Introverts Anonymous! How do I sign up… these are my people. I so enjoyed the gasps of horror in response to “I’m a teacher” and the anguish over people wanting to talk, everywhere… on Wednesdays I attend grade level PLTs online all day and by the end I am so exhausted I can barely lift a dinner fork to my mouth. Good heavens, I hope your conferences are over and done by now! I especially enjoyed your leisurely breakfast hour of typing responses to people who can’t talk back… we do appreciate you. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing an introvert’s perspective with humor and honesty. I’ve always defined myself as an extrovert but the older I get, the more I value my time alone to recharge so perhaps those personality traits aren’t as totally fixed as I once thought.
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